Action Bastard

This takes me way, way, waaay back to the old White Wolf HTML Chat days:

“The views and opinions of Action Bastard do not necessarily reflect those of White Wolf or the Werewolf fan community as a whole. Action Bastard is not for everyone. Some people who use Action Bastard may experience unpleasant side effects such as projectile vomiting, explosive diarrhea, loss of motor control, chronic flatulence, drooling, skin rash, an increased risk of heart attack and stroke, socialist political views and painful rectal itch. If you experience any of these side effects discontinue use and contact your physician or local poison control center immediately. Do not get Action Bastard wet, and do not feed him after midnight. Store Action Bastard in a cool dark place. Only your doctor, licensed psychiatric professional, or your mom may prescribe Action Bastard. Action Bastard should not be used by women who are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant due the the risk of certain birth defects such as incurable halitosis and a tendency to strike ridiculous comic-book-character poses, naked, in public. Always wash your hands thoroughly after handling Action Bastard to lessen your risk of infection. For more information on Action Bastard see our website which doesn’t exist because we’re too lazy to create it and too cheap to hire someone else. Ask your doctor, pharmacist, pimp, Congressional representative, drug dealer, preacher, deadbeat dad or crack whore if Action Bastard is right for you!”

That’s right, Action Bastard is the WoD version of the Happy Fun Ball.


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