All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Man, what a cheesy title.

Anyhow, I have wasted far more time than I’d care to admit to looking at stuff on Cracked. Here are a couple of things that I have found there that I greatly enjoyed, and I think you might as well. Also, a little bit of commentary.

5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy, by Marc Russell.

This one’s really entertaining to me, partially because if there is anything awesome, dashing or fascinating, I seek after these things. Bonus points if there are weapons involved. And oh, are there weapons. Now, simo Hayha’s old bolt-action rifle is totally sweet, but come on… Fighting Jack Churchill took a sword and a war bow with him on raids against the Germans!

That part of the article made me a bit suspicious though, since it explicitly states that Mad Jack’s sword was a two-handed scottish claymore. Eccentricity aside, I didn’t find that likely so I decided to do a little bit more research. Much more likely and more suitable for the purpose, to my way of thinking about an English officer with a penchant for Scottish cutlery would be a basket-hilted claymore, the type of sword known more precisely as a “claybeg” and to D&Ders (and casual sword fanciers the world over) as a “broadsword.” Note that the above-cited wikipedia article specifically states that the basket-hilt is what churchill used. For a more in-depth look at the awesomeness of Jack Churchill, see this profile column by robert Barr Smith. Read it.

Also, the article takes a fictional hardcase for each real soldier and shows how the real thing was way more awesome. Look out for a twist ending, though.

6 Real Life Islands Way More Terrifying Than the One On ‘Lost’, by Rory Colthurst

I found the #1 to be a bit of a letdown, though it’s probably #1 for the stealth scary factor. However, the others are totally exactly what it says on the tin. Ramree Island is my favorite, though the #2 is utterly horrifying in almost every way that doesn’t have to do with being eaten alive. Well, once you get to the sharks part it’s that too.

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