11 “Secrets”

11 “Don’t Tell the Wife” Secrets All Men Keep!

I do try to be honest with my wife, but some of these things do apply to me at least a little… though I’m pretty upfront about it. I’ve previously told her most of these things, in other words.

Obtained courtesy of jackofallgeeks

On #1: it really is strange. I do try not to look, and I’ve gotten much better at it. Yet, the radar’s still very much active. I was talking with K about this very subject a while back as we walked through K-mart. Shortly thereafter we walked past a woman that I didn’t really look directly at… yet I instantly ascertained that the (well-endowed) woman not only was not wearing a bra, but that her breasts were definitely fake.  All this while strolling along and chit-chatting with K about how men are pigs. I mentioned the incident to her shortly thereafter and we had a good laugh, as I posited that if I, a guy that’s really trying not to look, have such an active radar… much of the rest of my gender have it worse.

#3 is one that I don’t think is an issue at this point in my life, at least on the sex front. I’m not a guy that wanted to sow my oats around before I got married. My goal was actually to find that one girl I love, marry her and be faithful. Hormones are powerful, and fear of commitment is powerful… but I think convictions can be stronger still.

#4’s painful for me, especially given that I’m currently unemployed and my wife isn’t.  I’m trying various means to rectify the situation, though. Earning some money’s terribly important to me, though I suspect I’ll never make as much as her and I’m pretty okay with that. Her field is psychology. Mine’s art. Odds aren’t good there. I don’t know if she realizes how much being jobless guts me.

#5: yep, I like fixing things, but I like doing it when there aren’t other things competing for my interest, and I don’t like being pushed to do it.

#6 is powerful in my case, but thankfully her terror at the idea of becoming her mother is much worse than my worries in that regard.

#7: yup.

#8: I do make an effort to, but it doesn’t always (or even usually) penetrate my skull. The sports trivia section of my brain does have a fair file, but the geekdom section dwarfs it exponentially. I’m sure that doesn’t help here.

#9: Not really. I scare her more often than the reverse. I do almost all of the driving, though.

#10: The nostalgia factor is certainly real.

#11: This one’s very important to me. Fortunately, she demonstrates at least instinctive understanding of this principle at times.

The Wimmenz Version!


2 Responses to “11 “Secrets””

  1. lucretiasheart Says:

    On #1– I don’t mind his looking, because I look too. In fact, part of our mutual entertainment when out together is sizing up pretty people and commenting to each other. Which other women find weird. Sometimes, though, we point out potential eye candy to the other one– if I see a lovely and well-endowed lady, I’ll make the quip, “Hey honey! Check out the rack on her! They’re REAL!” He’ll then enjoy a gaze. Or, knowing “my type” (cute and lean with chiseled features) hubby will nudge me and whisper, “Manwich check-out guy at 2 o’clock!” and I’ll look and say, “Niiiice!” Sometimes he’ll see someone and declare her a goddess, or I’ll remark upon the tightly packed buns of some cutie patootie (literally! heh!) and it’s all okay. Sometimes, though, we make fun of the other person’s choices. Like my husband likes stronger features on a person than I do. He likes big eyes, noses, forehead, mouths. I call these people freaks. But he thinks the people I find attractive look like dolls made in Japan. We laugh a lot!

    On #2: My husband is TOO MUCH of a home-body and wants my attention too often in my opinion. I sometimes call his buddies and beg them to take him out for some poker or skeet-shooting or bowling or something. Since they all have wives who complain they never see their husbands enough, I am SO the “best” wife in our local aquaintance group! (See #11. I say, “Duh.”)

    On #8: I have some help in this department since my husband has 2 really close female friends (though one lives in North Carolina and the other in Oregon) who are able to explain things to him. I’m not jealous because, (besides trusting him) in a dispute, when he calls his lady friends to bitch, they tell him 9 out of 10 times that I’m right, and then kindly explain why. Every wife should have a husband who just talks to other women a lot as friends. The benefits are worth it. Trust me!

    On the wimmenz side: I never lie about the cost of purchases. I don’t get that at all. Afternoons ARE the best for sex because mornings and evenings I’m too tired. And– actually, I DO tell my friends EVERY intimate detail of everything that happens between hubby and I.

  2. uhlrik Says:

    Truth be told, I’m probably better at #8 than I let on.

    As for #1, once in a while K and I will point people out. It can be fun. We certainly do discuss people’s look after the fact. It can be interesting to compare notes and see if we pegged the others’ tastes accurately in a given case. My wife’s “type” is easy to spot.

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