In The News: Spy Games

Wanted: Spies Who Like To Shop

“I’ve got the north korean operative in my sights now, sir. Taking position. Like, omigosh! That is, like, totally the cutest skirt I’ve seen this week! That’s, like, a fantastic price too! Like, what was that about a commie agent, sir?”

Israeli Commandos Chase Down Would-Be Bombers On the Freeway.

That’s awesome. Scene: a van full of about 15 terrorists and a bunch of explosives, speeding to its target. Add heavily armed police commandos on motorbikes and a helicopter in hot pursuit, racing agaisnt both their maniacal targets and the clock. Film at 11? Nah, it’s on the news.

Teacher Allegedly Gives Student Pot

The kid turned him in too. That’s classic. What a maroon… especially ‘cus his students ride to school on the short bus. He got snitched by a SpEd.

Woman Pleads No Contest For Finger Biting

The motive? A kitten. I kid you not.

Viagra For a German Horse That “Had a Headache”…

An elegant solution on the judge’s part. “He got it up just fine. Now pay the man.”

German Hotel Charges By The Kilo

Okay, since they cap the price at their standard rate, what it really is is a discount for skinny people rather than a price spike for fat people. It’s still very German. In context of the history of my “In The News” feature, you know what I mean by that statement.

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