This Message Sponsored by White Wolf’s Fourth Game “Promethean,” Frankenberry, and Viewers Like YOU!

I’m sick today, and so I ended up staying home, which sucks because I really wanted the class time to work. Anyhow, I was taking a few minutes off from being a sick, icky lump and making some art to peruse the WW fora. I found the following. It entertained my feverish brain.

Grendel2882 stated:

In the epic battle of monstrous breakfast cereals, I would have to say that the nigh strawberry niftiness of Frankenberry is the awesomest. Fruit Brute suffered an early death (comparatively speaking), thus [obviously] sucking mightily. Boo Berry was almost cool, being Blue and all (da-boo-dee, da-boo-die), but the sheer fact that the flavor of Blueberries does not translate well into a mass-produced, chemical format ensures that it will not last a war of attrition.

That leaves only Frankenberry and Count Chockula. The animosity between these two was closely mirrored in the movie Van Helsing, but without the Fruit Brute to watch his back, Frakenberry is going to have to step it up a few notches. But he has a powerful weapon: my over-inflated opinion!

Chocolate is for women and commies. Without the red-blooded American goodness of Peanut Butter to balance it out, the forces of Chocolate, if victorious, will quickly spiral out of control and drench the universe in the aftertaste of pure ass. If you support capitalism, mom’s apple pie, and the baby Jesus, then you support Frankenberry in his never-ending struggle against the evil, vampiric forces of the Cocoa plant.

Stop the hate, piss on choco-late!

Things rapidly went downhill, as they tend to.
selected responses from the thread follow:

Grendel, that’s the beginning of a manifesto or possibly a new religious movement.
Are you the Burger King? I can see you spreading your message from behind that plastic mask and I shudder … I shudder.

But chocolate is like the Technocracy. It won the war for Delicioun centuries ago. The Consensus can be swayed by the Flavoritions in small degrees but the Brown Tower will not crumble any time soon. The Men in Foil are ever vigilant.

Bow now before the Enriched Science of Chococratic Union.


The time is now, brothers and sisters, to be united under the banner of the goodness of Artifical Strawberry Flavoring! This isn’t some time of apathy! It isn’t time to just sit back and say “oh, well… everyone seems to like chocolate now, so I guess it’s time to give up!”


All hail the chococratic union.

What do we do my brethren? Do we sit waitting to be crushed beneath the heel of these two warring giants? No we rise up to defend our existance. The Nation Of Fruity Goodness marches to war with the Chococratic union, they care nothing for us. It is time for our tribes to stand together. Let Cinnamin Toast crunch Join forces with French Toast crunch, and with Waffel Crisp, and with Cookie Crisp we shall stand together as The Traditions of Food Imatation Cereal!!!

hmm… if that were an RPG, I’d probably play it.


3 Responses to “This Message Sponsored by White Wolf’s Fourth Game “Promethean,” Frankenberry, and Viewers Like YOU!”

  1. nightowl33 Says:

    I preach Unity! Drown those strawberries in chocolate and let both flavors work together in harmony 🙂

  2. nightowl33 Says:

    OR being that these are breakfast cereals… pour some of both in the bowl. Whatever works.

  3. uhlrik Says:

    It is odd that so few think of this solution. I’ve mixed cereals for years.

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